Psalms 119:132-133

¹³² Turn to me and have mercy on me,
   as you always do to those who love your name.   David’s request is simple.   Turn to me.  Have mercy on me.   It’s a request, almost a plea.   In the previous verses he states his desire for God’s word, he states his virtual contempt for the wicked, here he requests God’s presence and mercy.   And then the statement of fact: “As you always do to those who love your name”.   God listens, comforts, and loves on those who love HIM.   That’s a simple prayer that any Christian can and should pray daily.   It’s a realization that I don’t think many have made to be honest.   We get so busy with life that we don’t realize that GOD wants us to actually say those words BEFORE we get into trouble.   We don’t have a problem saying them after the fact when trouble hits, but what about in everyday life?   Do we pray it when we get up in the morning?  Before we go to bed?  It’s something that I’m just realizing I should do.   It’s something that David has been teaching me these past couple months.

¹³³ Direct my footsteps according to your word;
   let no sin rule over me.    OH MY WORD!!   Or as we would say in this textual world we live in OMG!!!  Is this a prayer I need to pray hourly.    The first part:  Direct my footsteps according to your word is another prayer that most of us don’t pray the minute we wake up.   I know I don’t.   It’s almost scary in the concept to be honest, to pray for God’s leading in our very footsteps.   If we were to pray that and mean it, where would those steps lead me?   To what kind of person/situations/experiences would that lead me to?    It’s not a revolutionary concept, but it’s a love concept.  I would be forced to put love to the steps I take and prove it when I come upon the person those steps lead me to.    The second half of this verse: Let no sin rule over me.   How often do I just sit down and let sin just take over my brain and away I go.    David’s prayer is for freedom from the bondage, they dysfunction of sin.  Sin isn’t fun, it’s actually compounded drudgery masked in fascination.   When you come right down to it, once the mask is taken away from sin, you realize what Solomon means in Ecclesiastes 2 when he says:                                                                                                                ¹⁰ I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
                            I refused my heart no pleasure.
                           My heart took delight in all my labor,
                          and this was the reward for all my toil. 
¹¹ Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
                          and what I had toiled to achieve,
                          everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
                           nothing was gained under the sun.      It’s meaningless, drudgery.   Pointlessness.   David’s prayer is simple:  Let it not rule over me.    That needs to be my prayer, a Christians daily prayer.

Psalms 119:129-131

¹²⁹ Your statutes are wonderful;
   therefore I obey them.    David’s statement of fact about GOD’s word.   It’s almost redundant, but it show’s how important God’s word is to him.   He chooses to obey God’s word because he’s found how wonderful and meaningful it is.   As a Christian, I have to come to that point and agree with David.   I have to obey and realize how wonderful God’s word truly is.

¹³⁰ The unfolding of your words gives light;
   it gives understanding to the simple.   God’s word is a lamp that brings forth understanding.  It shines in the darkness of man’s attempt at logic and reasoning without acknowledgement of the creator.   Wisdom comes from an understanding of the Bible.    The Bible, God’s word gives us an understanding of ourselves in the view of the creator.   
¹³¹ I open my mouth and pant,
   longing for your commands.   This verse reminds of Psalms 42:1:  “As the deer pants for streams of water,
   so my soul pants for you, my God. “  Daveid has come to the point where he yearns for God’s word like a thirsty man after running a marathon.   Or more likely, a warrior after an intense battle.    Where he’s breathing heavily, and parched for just a drop of water.   David is saying this is how he feels towards God and HIS word.    As a Christian, is this a true statement for me?   Do I crave it like a dehydrated man thirsting for something to fill his thirst?  

Psalms 119:126-128

¹²⁶ It is time for you to act, LORD;
   your law is being broken.   There is a sense of urgency in David’s plea.  He’s see’s GOD’s laws being broken and he is impatient for GOD to rectify the situation.   He wants retribution/judgement/punishment to happen immediately.   How dare they break GOD’s laws!!!    Many of us feel this way when we say sin/injustice happen around us, we want GOD to take care of it now, but what happens?   It seems like the injustice continues unabated and the innocent are hurt even more.  What we don’t see is GOD working in the background.   GOD is continually at work and sin and injustice never prosper.    Well, they do for a season, but what happens, eventually is that GOD has a time and an appropriate moment planned for the individuals that are perpetrating the injustice.   When that time comes, they’ll be saying: “GOD help me.”

¹²⁷ Because I love your commands
   more than gold, more than pure gold,
¹²⁸ and because I consider all your precepts right,
   I hate every wrong path.    David ends this section with his commitment and his passion.   His passion is for GOD’s word, he values it above Gold.   In fact, it’s value is inestimable in his view.   Because of his passion for GOD’s word, he considers everything written in it as right, therefore, he knows what the wrong path is like; and he hates it….with a passion.    Can I say that?   Do I value GOD’s word above Gold?    Do I hate every wrong path?    I have to admit, I value GOD’s word, but more than gold?   Do I hate every wrong path?   I’ve taken some wrong paths before, didn’t travel too far down them, but I’ve taken them.   I know I need to quit being distracted, but it happens.     That is a goal of mine, to value GOD’s word above everything and to literally hate what is not of GOD.   It’s a journey.

Psalms 119:124-125

¹²⁴ Deal with your servant according to your love
   and teach me your decrees.   David ‘s request  to GOD is to deal with him in His loving manner.  In the previous three verses, David’s request was for God to rescue him from his oppressors.  In this verse his request is for God to teach him and to deal with him in a loving way.  Let’s be honest, isn’t that our constant prayer?  Shouldn’t we continually ask for God’s favor and that HE will teach us from HIS word?   I know personally, that has been my prayer quite often.

¹²⁵ I am your servant; give me discernment
   that I may understand your statutes.   A prayer for discernment to know God’s word and acknowledgement of being GOD’s servant.  Again, let’s be honest.  How many of us actually pray that prayer and acknowledge that we are HIS servants?   Do we just sit down and read the Bible and then pray whatever request that we need for the day?   Praying for discernment should be the first thing we do before sitting down to read God’s word, by not doing that, we are simply taking God for granted.   We assume that we, in our knowledge can understand what God is saying.  That may be, but, imagine, if we actually ask for Godly discernment when reading the BIBLE, just how much more would we gather from it.

Psalms 119:121-123

^{It’s been an interesting month so far.   I’m halfway through with my ministry break, sort of have the answers I’m seeking, but not really.  I’m not too worried about it, God will lead and HE’ll answer in a way that is timely and right.   I’ve had opportunities to do ministries with different youth groups in town, but I feel it would be disingenuous (I like that word for some reason, makes me sound smart :p), (for those that dont’ know what that means: lacking in frankness, candor, hypocritical).   So, I’ve sort of passed on the opportunities.  Last week was a bit crazy for me.  I had 20 hours of overtime last week.  That’s two double shifts and an additional 4 hour shift along with my normal 8 hour workday.   This week is my vacation, and it’s pretty much become a stay-cation.  I am heading to Md, either Thursday or Friday.  I have a viewing tomorrow for one of my students who died last Saturday.  He’s a young man with Down’s Syndrome that developed pneumonia, was sent to UVA ICU, then developed blood clots in his lungs and couldn’t recover.  He was an amazing kid.  Genuinely loved God and it was amazing to watch him worship.  He would dance and sing unashamed.  It was inspiring to watch.    Friday is my birthday.  I’ll be 45.   Hard to believe and accept, but there it is.   I might have a midlife crises on Friday, I’m not sure yet though.    Well, on to the Bible study.   Psalms 119:121-123 has been fascinating.}

¹²¹ I have done what is righteous and just;
   do not leave me to my oppressors.   David’s prayer in this section is simple .   He’s followed God’s direction and done the right things, yet he’s still being oppressed, he’s still being dogged by people who care nothing about justice.    This is something that still hounds christians to this day.   We do our best to do the right thing, the just thing, to not cheat or be devious, yet what happens?   People try to take advantage of us.  They throw obstacles in our way.   David’s second half of this verse is his request:  DO NOT LEAVE ME TO THESE JERKS (RPE: Robinson paraphrased Edition).   That has to be our prayer, that has to be my prayer.  God don’t leave me to these people.   You know what?  He hears that prayer, He’s working in the background and HE provides a way, in HIS time.

¹²² Ensure your servant’s well-being;
   do not let the arrogant oppress me.   Prayer for preservation.   That’s a common theme when under duress.   “GOD HELP ME”  How often have I prayed that prayer in the past week?   I’m not sure if I’m facing anyone arrogant, but the principle is the same.  Do not let this issue, this problem wrap itself around my life and strangle me.   David’s request is the same as any Christian who is facing a problem:  God keep me safe, and help me find a way out of this mess.

¹²³ My eyes fail, looking for your salvation,
   looking for your righteous promise.  His cry of desperation.   He’s seeking so hard for God’s help, that his eye’s are literally tired and worn out.   It’s like a soldier in an observation post, who is surrounded.  He’s looking desperately, calling desperately for help and his voice is tired from calling on the radio, and his eyes are tired from looking on the horizon for expected relief.  David is saying he’s tired, but he’s expectant as well.  He’s looking for the promise that God has given that HE will deliver and he’s expecting that promise to be held to.  

I’ll stop there for today.  Take little chunks out of this section at a time.  Come back tomorrow for more, possibly the conclusion.  We’ll see.

 

PSALMS 119:113-120, Social media witnessing, and ministry breaks.

I’m a little behind here.   Barely cracked my Bible open this week and to be honest.  I don’t have a good reason.   It’s just plain sheer laziness on my part.   I had an amazing experience Sunday night after I spoke at Revolution (the youth group I’ve been helping with).   I was on Facebook and one of the kids messaged me about a Bible question.  He wanted to know if suicide was a sin, but he was asking for a friend.   That question led to him making the statement that he’d never said a “prayer” before and didn’t know what he had to do.  Well, never one to miss a gift wrapped opportunity like that, I gave him an abbreviated “Romans Road”.  Took him directly (over FB messaging) to Romans 10:9-10 “⁹ If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. ¹⁰ For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” and told him that all he had to do was talk to God and confess his sins and Christ to come into his heart.   He was like, “that’s easy, I’ll do it now”   Needless to say I was doing backflips (figuratively at least) and told him to let me know when he was done.   A couple of minutes later he messaged back he was done and asked “now what”, and just as I was about to explain by taking him to Galatians 5, my computer froze up for 5 minutes.   I wanted to throw it across the room.   I texted the youth pastor and a couple other leaders to let them know and then told the rest of the team at Leadership meeting, so hopefully they’ll follow-up with him on Sunday.   Me, I’m taking a thirty-day ministry break.  I need to step back and re-evaluate some things and figure out where I go from this point.   I know my church and youth group love me and want me, but to be honest, am I settling for the “ok” by staying.   They’ve chosen someone else to lead, so that’s saying I’m second best, and if I’m their second best, then does that mean they’re my second best?    I don’t want to do ministry if it’s comfortable and expected.   I want ministry to take me out of my comfort zone, otherwise, it’s just a hobby.    Well, there it is, if you’re reading this, keep me in prayer over the next month that God shows me a direction.

Now, on with the Bible study.

113 I hate double-minded people, but I love your law.     David just puts it right out there.  Two face people make him sick.   If you say you love the Lord, live it, don’t just act it out in front of the “right” people and then revert back to your default around others.   Let your default be a life lived for the Lord.   He ends this verse like every other in this chapter, he loves God’s word.    It’s a great contrasting statement.  He hates two-faced people, but, he LOVES THE WORD OF GOD!!   I think that’s something that can be said for all serious Christians, those that desire to walk a Biblical lifestyle.   Those that are half stepping the Christian life make them sick….gets on their nerves…..there are a million things we can say, but I think God says it best in Revelation 3:16: “So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”  Lukewarm people make GOD vomit.

114 You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.   What is a refuge?  It is a fortress, where he goes when he’s overwhelmed by those who are oppressing him.   God is his shield, a warriors defensive weapon.   It’s interesting, the use of the term shield.  A shield protects from arrows and sword strikes, but it can also be used as an offensive weapon.   It will absorb the attack, but when used correctly, it can then counterstrike with a push-off from the warrior, throwing the aggressor off-balance.    The same can be said of a refuge.   You can use it to hide, but the warrior uses it not to hide, but to regroup, rearm, take a breath, and then return to the fight and hopefully take the offensive, or wait for relief.   That’s the second half of this verse.   His relief, his hope is in God’s word.    The Christian application to this verse is simple, we find our refuge, or shield in God.   When trouble comes, we go to the source, but we don’t sit on our butt and cover up or crawl into the fetal position.   We take a breath, step back, regroup, get back to the fight, absorb the blow, push-off and move forward into the attack.    Our hope and relief are in God’s word.

115 Away from me, you evildoers, that I may keep the commands of my God!    David realizes that those around him that aren’t following God, are pulling him down, so he makes a stand; says “GET AWAY!!  Those that don’t follow God’s commands will draw you away from God, it’s inevitable.    Those we spend the most time with reflect us.  His desire is to Keep God’s Commands.    That has to be my desire and I have to be able to make that same stand.

 116 Sustain me, my God, according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed.   As a warrior, David understands the importance of logistics.   Sustenance is more than food.  It’s the supplies that keep a warrior prepared:   Food, clothing, weapons, fuel, etc.    So when David is saying sustain me, he’s not just saying feed me, but he’s saying be my logistical supply center.    You’ve made the promise God, not deliver my needs.    We can always request what we want, but HE will always supply what we NEED.   Along with supplying his needs, his biggest request though, is that his hopes will not be destroyed.    That’s an interesting phrase.   I know that’s been my prayer.   “God, don’t let my hopes be destroyed”.   I think that’s quite a few people’s inner prayer to God.

117 Uphold me, and I will be delivered; I will always have regard for your decrees.    God is his deliverer.   When he says “Uphold me”, he’s saying: “back me up, God”, “stand with me when I’m weak”.   David will do his best to always follow God’s word.

118 You reject all who stray from your decrees, for their delusions come to nothing.    I love this statement.   It seems harsh to say that God rejects anyone, but let’s be honest, if someone rejects God, He’s going to let them go their way and let them follow their delusional path.  David even says that, “Their delusions come to nothing.”   If someone walks away from God, then what are they following and are they truly happy.   They end up following nothing, and it’s pretty empty following nothing.

119 All the wicked of the earth you discard like dross; therefore I love your statutes.   I had to go to dictionary.com because I wanted to be sure of the definition of dross.   It is:1. Waste matter; refuse. 2. Metallurgy . a waste product taken off molten metal during smelting, essentially metallic in character.  3.British . coal of little value.   So, essentially, it’s garbage, the useless material that rises to the top when melting gold.   David is saying that is what will happen to the wicked, they will be discarded.   Harsh?  I don’t think so.   There are consequences to denying God.   Fair?   Probably not, but is God Fair or is He Just?   Being that HE is GOD, HE could be both, but to my limited mind, I don’t see that as possible.   David ends this verse with stating again, the he loves GOD’s word.

120 My flesh trembles in fear of you; I stand in awe of your laws.   David is honest.   He may love God, but the thought of HIM brings fear to his body.   We may use the terms “Father”, “Savior”, “Lover”, “Bridegroom”, “Friend”, etc, but lets keep in mind that HE’S GOD, that should bring a certain amount of fear to us as well.   GOD can do what GOD wants.   Stand in awe of not only HIM, but HIS word.   Let’s not get so comfortable with God, that we take HIM for granted.

Revolution Message: Going to the Source. Psalms 119:73-80

Tonight is my turn to do the message for Revolution.  I chose Psalms 119:73-80.   Here’s my outline and small group questions.  Enjoy

PSALMS 119:73-80

TITLE:  Going to the Source

ACTIVITY:  Give two minutes as a countdown.   Tell Group that somewhere in the warehouse is hidden $30.  A $10, 3 $5’s, and 5 $1 bills.  Boundaries are:  Not on Soundboard, not on stage, and not in rooms.   See who actually takes the time and makes the effort to look.

POINT:  I’ll have the bills in my pocket, if someone asks, then I have them, if they don’t the point is that they haven’t gone to the source.

INTRO:
In the short exercise we just did, some of you guys lost your mind searching for $30 that you thought was hidden.  Others didn’t even try.   The point:  We have to go to the source first.   Tonight we’re going to look at what it means to go to the source and why it’s important.

Message:
Read:  Psalms 119:73-80

Psalms 119 is almost redundant in describing David’s love of and desire to know God’s word.  In every section, David has at least one verse in which he’s saying he loves God’s law or desires to know it.  It was a passion from his earliest time as a teenager protecting his father’s sheep to the day he died as king of Israel.

Can we say that about ourselves, is knowing God’s word a passion for us?  A hobby?  A vague distraction?   The BIBLE is our main source for knowing GOD.   Prayer is what links us, but the BIBLE is what we use and how we gain a better understanding of what a relationship with Christ is about.  Let’s take a look at what some things that keep us from knowing God better and how we can, like David, Desire to know God deeper.

1.  Distractions:  Distractions  of the world that keep us from going to the Bible

- The world is doing its best to replace the Bible as a source of reference on how to live

- Popular entertainment blogs and magazines tell us what beauty and popularity is

- Hollywood/New York are telling us how to live and define ourselves

-Vs 73:  David states that we are formed by God.  We are individual and unique creations of God

-Isa 49:5-6:  God has a plan for you even before conception

-Isa 29: 15-16- Man has a tendency to reverse and even ignore what God is doing

2.  The Bible is our connection to God:  Often we spend time, money, energy, and thought to try to fill a void in our lives.   The exercise we did in the beginning is a great example.   Those that lost their minds looking are an example of people looking everywhere but to the source.   Those that just sat and didn’t look are the opposite extreme, they don’t even try.   Think about it, which one are you?  The second half of each verse is a statement David makes about knowing God’s word.

1.  When Trouble comes what do you run to?  Vs. 75-78.   What did David do when Affliction came?  What did David do when the arrogant accused him?   He said he ran to God’s word, he meditated on scripture.   God’s love is his comfort; God’s word was his source.
2. It’s our source of respect.

Vs. 74, 79, & 80

- The world often equates popularity with respect

- To be popular isn’t necessarily to be respected

-  Whose respect are we seeking?

-  Ultimately, the only person whose opinion really matters is God, and then your opinion of yourself.

-  By taking a stand for what you believe in, you won’t gain friends, you will gain respect for being consistent, transparent and genuine

CONCLUSION:  As we go into small groups, let me leave you with this:
LUKE 11:9-10 “⁹ “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.¹⁰ For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”

What are you seeking?  What doors are you knocking on?  Whose respect are you seeking?

YOUNG MEN let me challenge you:  IF you claim to be a Christian, what will it take for you to stand up and live it?  It’s time to grow a pair, put your man pants on and get up off the couch.  It takes more guts to live a life of a Christian, than existing in the world.

YOUNG WOMEN:  What will take for you to stop having New York and Hollywood define who are and what you should look like?  You are a magnificent creation of God, uniquely made and beautiful in HIS eyes.   What the world is defining you as cheapens you.   Do you want some airbrushed Bimbo or some creepy New York magazine editor telling you how you should look and live and what to believe in, or are you going to allow the creator of the universe mold and define you?

Bottom line:   The only way to know is to go to the source.

Small Group Questions

(Only suggestions, use your discretion and be open to God’s leading)

1.  How often or how long do you spend in the Bible
2. How often/long do you read popular magazines/blogs/ or play video games
3. Is there anything wrong with being aware of and participating in popular culture?
4. Be What keeps you from spending time in the Bible
5. Is it better to be popular or to be respected?
6. How do you gain other people’s respect?
7. Do people look to you as someone who is transparent and genuine?

Psalms 119:109-112

¹⁰⁹ Though I constantly take my life in my hands,
   I will not forget your law.     David lived a dangerous life.   As a young man, he never hesitated to defend his flock, as warrior in King Sauls court, he was a “lead from the front” type of leader.   As king, he still went to battle until his generals told him he was too old, so when he says He constantly takes his life in his hands, he’s not over exaggerating.    Though he acknowledges the risks he takes with his life, he states that he not forget the law that he has ingrained in his heart.   As a 21st century American Christian, my life isn’t in constant danger as Davids, but the principle remains the same.   No matter what the distractions, I have to keep focused on God’s word, make that my prime “distraction”….my obsession.
¹¹⁰ The wicked have set a snare for me,
   but I have not strayed from your precepts.  There were people both internally and externally in David’s life that were looking for any opportunity to cause David to fail.   Men in Sauls court that were jealous, ambitious men in his own court, surrounding kingdoms, even his own family members that were trying to ensnare David.  If we look closely enough, we could also say that David, himself, was the cause of many of his own troubles.    While he may have become distracted and unfocused, David can honestly say that he has done his best to live according to God’s precepts.    Personally, I think God is very realistic about HIS creation.   HE doesn’t expect us to live perfect lives and never sin, what HE expects from us is to live in a way that reflects HIM.   To try to live according to the word of God, to live a life that is loving and honorable and to give glory to HIM and worship HIM.    Will I fall and do stupid things.  Yep.  What’s the next step after I fall?  It’s repentance.  Repentance isn’t just saying I’m sorry until the next time I screw up, it’s a genuine heartfelt turning away and moving forward.    It’s stepping away completely from the sin that I found myself in and through the grace of God forgetting it and leaving it and running towards God and forward to a fresh life that Christ provides.  
 ¹¹¹ Your statutes are my heritage forever;
   they are the joy of my heart.    God’s word brings joy to David’s heart, they are his heritage.   To have an heritage, is to have a legacy and a history.   Something you can point to and say, that is a part of my life that I can give to the next generation.  
¹¹² My heart is set on keeping your decrees
   to the very end.  No matter what, David is determined to keep God’s decrees, to the very end of his life.   It should be a determination for every Christian to say that.

Psalms 119:105-108 Lighting the path and acceptable praise.

105 Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.    I love David’s simple statements.   God’s word is a lamp in the dark that lights his path.   Really, there isn’t much more you can say about that statement.   God’s word is illuminating, it sheds light on the darkness and gives hope, direction, safety.   What more can be said?

106 I have taken an oath and confirmed it, that I will follow your righteous laws.  His oath is to follow God’s word.   He’s made it official and public.   He will follow God’s laws.   That is something that I must do also.  Any Christian should do this.  To publicly state that they will follow God’s word.  

¹⁰⁷ I have suffered much;  preserve my life, LORD, according to your word.    David understands suffering, at this point in his life, he’s experienced quite a bit of it, so his cry to God is HELP….YOU’VE PROMISED.   That is, quite often, the prayer everyone prays eventually….sometimes daily or even hourly.   He looks to God, his hope is resting firmly on God, and he know’s it’s guaranteed, because God has written it in HIS word.   The question is:  Are we believing that God will help us or are we to busy throwing accusations at HIM about why whatever it is, is happening?  Personally,  I know I’m about 50/50 with this.  In the past I’ve spent more time throwing the “WHY”….and the “WHERE ARE YOU GOD”, instead of the: “I know you’re there and working, and I’m not going to freak out”   It’s only in the past couple of years that I’ve been able to actually find peace in trials by relying on God.   The trials still there, God doesn’t miraculously make it disappear, but HE does shield me, HE does bring people along side of me to help me, and HE does provide resources at the appropriate time.
¹⁰⁸ Accept, LORD, the willing praise of my mouth,  and teach me your laws.   David just wants to praise God.    That’s his whole desire.  To praise and be taught.   Is that my prayer?   Is that your prayer?  (the 5 people who actually read this blog)   Is that a statement that I say often in my prayer and meditation time?    I wish I could say that it was.  Again, I’m probably 50/50 with that.  

I’m going to save the last four verses for later.   I’ll stop this blog with verse 108.

Psalms 119:103-104 Bible Junkie and ministry break and paradigm change

¹⁰³ How sweet are your words to my taste,
   sweeter than honey to my mouth!   Honey is nature’s natural sweetener, here, David is using it to symbolically describe how God’s words are to him.    When you taste honey, it practically envelopes your taste buds, it is like an explosion of sweet goodness in your mouth.   For David, God’s word is like that for him.   It’s wisdom and power envelope and explode upon him so that it leaves him enraptured.    He longs to be able to read and hear God’s word, it’s like a natural drug for him.   Can I say that about my desire for God’s word?   Am I a Junkie for the Word of God?   No, more like a recreational user.   I get a quick fix, but it’s not my full on obsession that I can’t live without.    I have to get to that point, it’s the one thing in life that I have to be obsessively desirous of.
¹⁰⁴ I gain understanding from your precepts;
   therefore I hate every wrong path.   David gives his reason for his obsession.   Understanding.   By reading the Law, it gave him understanding for life.   That understanding gave him direction and a path to walk, any deviation from that path, isn’t a new direction, but a dead-end and a trap.   Therefore, with the understanding and direct path, David can see the wrong paths and can avoid them.   That’s the value of God’s word.   It isn’t a book of rules, a list of do’s and don’ts, it is a guidebook…. a map for life almost.   It’s gives us a path for living right, by living within boundaries.  Everything outside the boundaries is death or leads to some type of “pretty” enslavement/entrapment.   It may look good, feel good, taste good….but it’s still a trap.   The Bible gives us understanding and inspiration when read.   No one can read the Bible and not come away changed in some way.   It’s a unique book that God uses to convict, inspire, and encourage us all at the same time.   It amazes me.

 So, I spoke with my Pastor and New youth pastor last week and spoke to the leadership team on Tuesday and told them I’m taking a break from Ministry for the month of February.   I need to step back and re-evaluate what I’m doing.    My biggest fear about doing ministry is not being challenged.  To me, if some part of you isn’t saying: “holy crap, I’m in over my head and can’t do this” than it’s not really ministry, just a comfortable hobby.    Since they chose someone else as youth pastor, then I’m simply just another lay-worker and to be honest, I don’t know if that’s enough for me.   I spent 6 months as an interim youth director, being part of a team that did great things only to be told I’m second best and they’re going with someone else.  Is this a pride thing?   Well, probably.    I do know I dont’ want to look at my pastor and youth pastor and feel bitterness or hurt towards them, or the members of the selection committee and feel like they stabbed me in the back.  I don’t want to be that guy that either consciously or subconsciously obstructs the Holy Spirit.    I figure a month off to re-evaluate my purpose and calling and maybe pray about a paradigm change. 

  
Paradigm change.   Now that’s an interesting thought.   Maybe it’s time I did something else.   Maybe para-chruch minsitry or foriegn missions?  Evidently, a full-time church staff position isn’t going to happen anytime soon; to be honest, not many church’s want a 45-year-old youth pastor that’s single, still working on his BS, and never actually been in leadership position within a church.   It’s ironic that I have three walls of certification and awards from the military saying I’m certified and able accomplish things way past my pay grade, but because I don’t have a diploma or a wife I’m inelligible to be hired by a church.   Am I being a bit sarcastic and cynical?   Probably, but hey, it’s my blog and I calls ‘em as I sees ‘em.   Maybe it’s time to change or transition to something else.     I don’t know to be honest.   I guess that’s why I’m taking a month off.  My plan is to take those Sunday’s and Tuesday’s I’d be doing ministry and seek out former mentor’s and friends and get insight from them.   I’m looking forward to reconnecting with some people.   Should be an interesting month.   Oh, and I turn 45 on the 17th, so maybe this is my mid-life crises also.