I get this all the time from my friends in relationships. I’ve even said this or gave this advice to others at one time or another. Bottom line for me. Standards. The biggest standard is that the person I date/marry be of the same faith. I’ve learned that I can’t change someone, and no one can change me, only GOD can change an individual, the only thing I can do is maybe be an agent of change for someone by pursuing my own relationship with Christ. I’ve also learned that if I try to change to fit someone else’s mold, then we will never last because it would be trying to fit into a pair of really cool shoes that are either a bit tight or too big. Cool shoes, but not a good fit. Relationships are about accepting people for who they are and also pushing them to be better, not to fit your mold but to be the person that GOD sees them as. It’s also about accountability and friendship. A relationship should never isolate, but expand a person. Be involved in things other than the two and include others in your relationship life. That’s just my view. Read the article, it has some really good points.
As believers we are warned in the Bible to be sober and alert towards our common enemy, Satan. He can’t read our thoughts, but he has studied men and women for a long time and knows what lies we are most privy to believe. He subtly makes suggestions to our minds and we often mistakenly take his thoughts as our own.
In his deceit, Satan will do whatever it takes to break down the Christian relationships—mainly because a united prayer front becomes his most difficult fortress to penetrate. Therefore the devil uses lies and deceit to trap us into wrong thinking in our relationships. Be ready and know the 7 common lies the enemy
Lie #1) You must have a relationship in order to be happy.
“Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me” (Psalm 51:12).
Satan will use family, friends, and the media to convince us that we must be in a relationship in order to be happy. If we take the bait, then discontentment will rule the day. However, we must rise above the petty thoughts of filling our desires to the lofty plans of the Lord. He will bring the right person at the right time if we are willing to live trusting and joyful lives in Him regardless of our relationship status.
Lie #2) You can change other person in your relationship.
“Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion” (Hebrews 3:15).
Many well-intentioned people believe this lie from the devil. The enemy whispers how they can really help someone get closer to God if they were in a relationship with them. However the truth is that it’s much easier for them to pull you down than for you to pull them up. God can use your influence and prayers to plants seeds of truth in the heart of the other person. Yet you will never change them—only God is in the heart changing business.
Lie #3) You need to lower your standards for this relationship.
“Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us” (1 Peter 2:12).
Satan will entice many believers to lower their standards of righteousness in order to stay in a relationship. However this is completely opposite of God’s will for our lives. We are to continue to raise the standards of purity, truth, and integrity in the grace of God given to us. Our measuring stick is Christ and we should always be growing in Him every day.
Lie #4) You can trust your feelings in relationships.
“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).
How many times has Satan deceived us into trusting in our feelings? Yet our feelings are fickle and prone to change with the weather. The Lord desires our full trust in Him even when our feelings are tempting us to go another direction. The truth is we can’t trust our feelings especially in relationships, we must turn to God and seek His wisdom in every relationship.
Lie #5) You don’t need counsel from others about your relationships.
“The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice” (Proverbs 12:15).
When we hesitate to be open about our relationships with spiritually mature people, Satan will tempt our pride into believing we don’t need them. However we need godly counsel in our relationships in order that we can receive wisdom and insight that may be beyond our experience. It takes a humble heart to listen carefully and pray thoughtfully when receiving godly counsel in our relationships.
Lie #6) You need to rush into a relationship before it’s too late.
“Desire without knowledge is not good—how much more will hasty feet miss the way” (Proverbs 19:2).
Satan will tempt many believers into making hasty decisions about relationships especially if they are feeling like their time has come and gone. However the Lord is never in a rush for His people to make decisions based on fear of never having a relationship. God has a plan even when it seems like nothing seems to be happening for us. We don’t have to rush, but rather wait patiently on God’s timing.
Lie #7) You can have a serious relationship with unbelievers.
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14).
Many believers will be tempted by Satan to connect themselves in a relationship with good people who don’t know God. However, God gives us direction in this area not to take away our fun, but rather to protect us from the hidden pitfalls. A serious relationship with an unbeliever will keep us from growing closer to Christ as we become more deceived by our feelings.
Resist the Lies
The strongest resistance to Satan’s lies will come from how well we know and live the scriptures. As he speaks lies to our minds, we can speak the truths of God’s word and see how quickly we are released from the devil’s grip. As we grow in our relationship with God, we will find the godly relationship He wants us to have.
Article by Crystal McDowell
Crystal McDowell is a writer, speaker, and teacher with a passion to encourage believers to know and grow in their relationship with Jesus Christ through practical application of God’s word.
Crystal and her husband, Marshall, raise their five children in the Bloomington, IL. As a freelance writer and editor for over 13 years, Crystal has published numerous Christian curriculums for Sunday School and VBS as well as many articles dealing with marriage, motherhood, and relationships. She’s a weekly staff writer for http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com as well as writing her own blog at http://crystalmcdowellspeaks.blogspot.com.