God, Did I Really Hear You Call Me to This?
Café Menu for Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Today’s Special is: When You Question God’s Call
Carefully prepared just for you by your friend, Brenda Rodgers
God said to Moses, “I am who I am.” And he said, “Say this to the people of Israel, ‘I am has sent me to you.’”
Exodus 3:14 ESV
In 2010, God called me to Christian ministry as a writer and mentor. I was sitting on the end of my husband’s hospital bed at Duke University Hospital. My husband was waiting on a donor heart to become available so that he could have a heart transplant – a donor heart that would save his life.
Four years later, that moment is as clear as if I were there now. I didn’t yet know the journey that was ahead of me. In the days before my husband received his heart transplant his health became even grimmer, and he was put on life support. But God told me to use what He was doing and tell others.
As weeks turned into months and my husband got stronger with his new heart, my passion built. I was on a mission to become a Christian writer. I stayed up late, I wrote, I researched, I learned about the publishing industry.
However, passion does not equate success, or ease, and my journey as a new Christian writer has not been a quick or easy one. There have been many days when I’ve questioned whether I really heard God call me to ministry.
Was I doing it for selfish ambition – for recognition and fame? Was pride fueling this passion and it wasn’t God at all?
Recently I read the story of Moses again in the Bible. As you might relate, I thought there wasn’t much more I could learn about Moses and his life. But there was one seemingly small detail that got my attention during my reading this time. Moses killed a man (Exodus 2:12). Yes, in plain daylight, he killed a man.
Moses knew that God was using him to rescue the Israelites from slavery (Acts 7:25). And after the murder, God still wanted to use him. But did Moses know that God still wanted to use him?
After Moses killed the Egyptian, he fled to Midian to escape Pharaoh’s wrath. Moses spent 40 years there as a shepherd. During those long years, there’s no doubt that Moses probably asked himself if he heard God correctly.
Did God really call him to rescue the Israelites? If so, why didn’t God stop him from committing murder? Why was he spending all of this time in Midian as a shepherd? Did God change His mind since Moses’ impulsive act of sin?
As we later read, Moses was not disqualified from his call to rescue the Israelites. He had, in fact, heard God correctly the first time. However, God needed to prune Moses before he was ready to take on such a defining event in history.
When you start to question whether God called you to something – whether it is a ministry opportunity, a job, or a relationship – think about Moses. God took 40 years to prepare Moses for the job God had for him to do. Moses needed to learn some important lessons before he would be equipped to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. God may be preparing you as well.
The October 13th devotional for My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers says,
our individual effort for God shows nothing but disrespect for Him— our individuality is to be rendered radiant through a personal relationship with God, so that He may be ‘well pleased’.
Today read Exodus 2-3.
What can you do today to develop your relationship with Jesus as you wait for God’s perfect timing?
Heavenly Father, today I humbly come to You ready to do Your will and fulfill Your call on my life. Please give me wisdom to discern Your voice. Lord, as I wait for Your timing, help me to be patient and not lose focus. Make me teachable, ready to be pruned, so that I will be well equipped to serve You wholeheartedly. Thank You, Lord, for the opportunity to serve You and Your kingdom. The glory is all Yours. Amen.