Well, it’s been almost two years since I last blogged. I’m not sure why I stopped, but I did. I spent almost a year out of youth ministry doing the church wandering thing before God sort of caused me to question what I was doing. My only answer was nothing and I realized I had to get back to doing what I was called to do. My calling isn’t to be a youth pastor, but to be a youth leader….to serve God working with youth in whatever capacity that is. I’m a layworker in a Methodist church now, which is kind of….I don’t know, I’ve been in independent and southern Baptist circles so much that Methodist circles are a little foreign still. I chose this church because the youth pastor I was working with at Mountain View is the youth pastor at this church now and it feels right. Plus he just needs the help. It’s been very good coming back and working with kids, I’ve had incredible opportunities and experiences with these kids and I treasure every moment I spend working with them. They’re a good bunch of kids.
So, let’s get back to Psalms 119. I’ve missed this chapter. Ever since I’ve stopped blogging about it, my devotional life has been hit or miss. I need the accountability of writing I guess. So here we go.
PSALM 119: 134-136
134. Redeem me from the oppression of men, that I may obey your precepts.
135. Make your face shine upon your servant and teach me your decrees.
136. Streams of tears flow from my eyes, for your law is not obeyed.
A plea from David. David seeks to be free from the perceptions that surround him so that he may freely worship God. His desire is to know God, but he sees that around him, God is being ignored, God’s decrees are considered irrelevant.
In the text notes in my bible, the word “redeem” is a synonym for “deliver”. To me, this verse is a cry out to God for intimacy with HIM. David knows that anything outside of a relationship with God is just grasping at the wind, he seeks intimacy with God. Yet, he’s also feeling discouraged because around him he sees people ignoring God. He feels burdened by the perceptions that are forced upon him by others. What do I mean by Perceptions? Well, in any society, culture has certain perceptions of different groups. Expectations of behavior. They’re either hard to live up to, or completely misjudged as being intolerant or ignorant. In David’s case, there was Saul, the Philistines, his own sons later in his life, and the expectations of the people and the fact that David knew ins his failures, he was disappointing God. Yet he still strived to have a relationship with God, and in his failures, he was he was sincere in his confession and desire for redemption.
So what is the parallel for today. To me, it’s that my desire should be to pursue God, to not be held back by the perceptions. To seek after God and desire for God to teach me HIS decrees. To be brokenhearted over the fact that God is being ignored and not cynical and dismissive.