Iron Skillett vs. the Still small voice

I’ve been telling people lately that I don’t get “leadings, hints, etc” from God, that it often requires the iron skillet.   Subtlety is lost on me.   I need to be told.   I’m beginning to see the error in that statement.   When you come down to it, the iron skillett isn’t so much a tool or “revelation” as it is, of well, being so completley dense and distracted, God has no other option.   I was sitting here thinking about that just now.   It helps to write it out for me, so here it is.  Elijah had a huge victory over the priests of Baal, and yet, the next chapter you see him running from Jezebel and asking God to kill him because he feels alone.   So God instructs him to go to a desolate place, and puts him through a wind and firestorm.    You expect God to speak in those terms, but it was the still small voice that Elijah heard and not the noise.   I’ve been expecting God to let me know, give me direction about the next steps by focusing on the noise and asking God to speak in/through/around the noise, that I’m not realy listening to.  So, in essence I’m asking God to speak to me as I put my hands over my ears and yell at HIM to speak to me.   Yeah, doesn’t work so well.    SO… that I have realized this, what’s the next step, other than shutting up and actually turning things off to listen?   Do I actually want an answer that is different than my expectation?   AND, am  I ready for a blind leap of faith if it’s asked?   I don’t have the answer to those questions.  I guess if I shut up and listen and seek actively, I’ll and ask, then I’ll get the answer.   I do know one thing.   I’m not good at doing nothing.  God and I have been talking about this.   If I leave something, I need something to go to or else I become bored or complacent.   I am a servant.  That is part of my identity.   If I’m not serving HIM somewhere, I get bored and complacent.  I can’t just sit in a pew and listen.   I’m willing to take a step of faith, but I need a direction to go in, or else I’m aimlessly wandering….or, at least I feel that way.  I don’t know, but I do know the new year will be quite interesting

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